17/4/2017 2 Comments Notes about My ChildhoodI grew up in a family of five and I have two older sisters. My childhood was a very pleasant experience and I cannot complain about it. i grew up having the things I needed, but not always having the things I wanted. Although what I had was enough, more than other children could wish for. we All want 'Things' when we are a child. This way I leanrt how to appreciate things in life and I am grateful for that. My parents are hard working people and they always did whatever they could for us. I appreciate this the most. A whole lot depends on the way you are brought up. I am grateful for the way I was brought up. And of course it's a combination of things how our personality turns out To be later on - a combination of upbringing and our actual being. But yes, the way we are brought up is really important. Having two older sisters was not always as easy as it sounds. Being the youngest of all, I had to deal with the issue of 'being the youngest therefore being the one who needed to be told what to do'. My sisters liked being bossy over me sometimes which I understand - there is a certain characteristic about the youngest, the middle and the oldest child between siblings, and in my experience it truly manifested. my oldest sister was the bossy one, me being the youngest was the most rebellious one, and my middle sister was sort of a combination of both - the middle child is usually 'the odd-one-out'. Our mom was strict with us, and it is a good thing, especially for later on. I am glad she was that way. If she had been too soft with us, we would have become uncontrollable. it is also about learning the right morals. If we had been spoilt we'd have never learnt how to appreciate properly. I was hell of a rebellious child though. I am naturally very stubborn and headstrong, always wanting my way. I was made to be this way, like you were made to be the way you are for a reason. it is in my frequencies, my energy - a personal trait among many other ones. In my teenage years my mom was losing it with me sometimes because no matter what she didn't allow me to do, I did anyway. but then i had to pay the consequences. When I wanted something, I really wanted it. And that included things such as dying my hair, piercings or moving to London on my own. To this day it's the same, except that now I can let go of any material desire, because at the end of the day it is only material and that desire is temporary. we can only re-evaluate true value and desire once we understand what really matters in life. My love for material beauty, such as clothes and fashion, will always be there as an expression of sophistication and material architecture. When I was about 5-6, I was already aware of the clothes I was wearing and had a conscious choice of what clothes I wanted to wear certain days, and I had my ultimate favourite pieces too. Of course my mom was getting me dressed every day until I was like 9. every time I went clothes shopping with my mom was sort of a special thing to me, there was a magic to it. I just loved those odd occasions. to buy clothes - to buy something new. yes I know, you must think I am materialistic. yes and no. I see clothes (material) as a piece of art, a way how sophistication is expressed, and a way how my eagerness towards sophistication can be fulfilled. on the other hand, this particular frequency is embedded in me and is expressed through the love for art, perfectionism, sophistication, the beauty in life. as I believe, this frequency is expressed in the colour purple that makes up the majority of my frequencies - it's also a libra thing.
I can tell when someone is a lonely child. They are usually selfless. But when you have sisters, you sort of become selfish. You have to share things. And because I always take care of my things, it didn't make me happy when I got any of my stuff returned not in the condition it was lent. Or I 'loved' it when certain things of mine were just taken away without notice. Yes, this way you can become selfish. You just want to take care of your things and keep them to yourself. These certain things can shape the way you turn out to be. And I guess, an only child is selfless because they never experienced the act of sharing. And here I'm talking about how we are shaped by the circumstances within our family, not the selflessness that is within our spirit. Since I moved away from home when I was 19, I could finally 'enjoy' that I had my own things for myself. Does this sound mean? Maybe a little bit. But I'm sure my sisters know what I am talking about. But within my true spirit, I am endlessly selfless. So much that I could give the world to my family if I could. My aim is to give them whatever I can, forever. And it makes me tear up a little bit. Family is everything. And what are material things? We own material things to make us happy in a way. We give material things to make others happy. Real selflessness doesn't come from material things. Selflessness is something else. it doesn't come down to materialism. Selflessness is also love. We become selfish because of the material-driven world - in a way... Many times I get very nostalgic about my childhood. I had a great time growing up with beautiful memories. I would not change any of it. What truly matter are the experiences and time spent with my family - the times spent in our holiday house during the summer, or whenever our family was together. Those are the real precious moments. My most precious childhood memory was lake balaton where we had our holiday house and where we went every suMmer with my faMily. It was my favourite time of the year. So much fun, and no concerns at all. I miss those careless days, when you didn't know what being worrIed meant. or the time when I was in nursery school and my favourite day was friday because my mom picked me up at 1pm instead of 4pm - were such joyful moments. I wish I could have spent more time with my grandparents. They left too early. I can never have the chance anymore to talk to them with a grown up mind, to have proper conversations - At least not in This body anynore. I really miss them. Even if they were just my grandparents in this life, we are all attached by love to our family we were given as parents or siblings in this life, in body. We grow up with them, they take care of us, they are our family. but in spirit we may be different. we are all different. and in spirit we have all known each other for a long, long time now. We have all been attached throughout different lives. And we should appreciate the fact when we are put in a loving family. We are put in certain families for a reason, for certain reasons. in my case it was definitely for me to be strong, to grow independent. We should appreciate our parents to be our parents and that they take care of us in this life, no matter what their fault may be.
2 Comments
Sahir
18/4/2017 07:12:57 pm
❤ Great Blogs My Love Zsuzsanna ! You are the most wonderful and selfless person I've ever met . And I Love You !
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Kenny
23/4/2017 11:24:16 pm
So true Susie!
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AuthorZSUZSANNA, 30, METAPHYSICAL PRACTITIONER
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